Why is it that life is never what you expect of it? You try so hard to do the things you want and accomplish almost non of it. For the most, people get close to what they want, but it is rare that we ever get everything we desire.
I try, but I never try hard enough, I know that's my problem. I want so much, but I seem to not want to put any effort into getting what it is that I want. And to tell you the truth I don't really know what that is.
I have idea's and thoughts, but it is rare that I actually have a concrete desire. So far the only one thing that I really wanted was to move out to sunny California and I did that. Yet now that I am here what is it I really want to do here. I've been here almost three months and I don't really have any good idea's on what to do next.
Should I lose about forty pounds, well that's a definite yes, but do I want to put the effort into it,no. Do I need a really good job that makes a lot of money and makes me happy? Of course who doesn't, but with our times it is so freaking tough. I honest to God have no stinking idea on what I should do next.
Can I read these silly magazines about the actors life and what were doing wrong in our relationships and in the bedroom, sure. But I don't want to. Why would I want to read into someone elses life, to feel better about myself or feel worse for not having what they have. Honestly I don't give two left shits about that stuff. I mean come on if we really need to read about that then we know we need to spice up our lives and stop waisting money and making other people richer. If my personal life and relations need work then the other person I'm with needs to be man enough to talk about it with me, because I know I would. And if our sex life bores me then hey, I am telling them I wanna spice it up and do more things. I damn sure don't need to spend money for someone to tell me my life is lame. But people still do it, I think it's because we all need that reassurance, to have someone tell us even though we already know and feel it. Hey, that's only being human, I guess.
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